Ready. Set. Go?

Let’s start with a little backstory.

I created this domain a couple years ago, following a string of unexpected deaths in the family and the fresh realization of just how short life really is. I played with the idea of creating a blog to express my opinions mostly and posted maybe one or two things that I didn’t share with anyone.

At the time, I was working on a career path I thought I had to follow. It seemed like a logical decision, but it wasn’t well thought out. So this idea, that truly sparked my interest, sat untouched. I progressed further and further towards a goal I didn’t really want to meet. Intrinsic motivation? Who’s she?

Okay, but what about outside pressure?

In my adult life, my parents have never been like any stereotypical parent. We all know the types; helicopter, micromanaging, or strict POC/asian parents. They were very supportive every time I changed my major in college, despite all the anxiety I had to even tell them what I wanted. (For that, I’ll forever be grateful.) All my parents wanted and want are for me to be happy and independent (and maybe to finally get my own cell phone plan). So, I guess my point is, there isn’t a whole lot of extrinsic motivation either.

A real job. A real job?

So, I’ve been taking things slowly and maybe, just maybe, got a little too comfortable with where I’m at in life. Almost 3 years ago, I started working at a restaurant serving tables. I had been working jobs seasonally, or for about a year at a time, and not really making enough money to support myself. Retail, customer service, banquet serving, you know, the fun and VERY fulfilling jobs. My boyfriend’s roommate started at this restaurant first and I saw how much I could be making, but I would’ve never thought I’d still be doing this same job.

The thing about serving is, you’re taking home cold, hard CASH. The job is flexible. You can pick up shifts if you spent a little too much on the Sephora VIB sale, or you can give up shifts to that college kid who can never seem to budget…EVER. Okay, sure, you can definitely have crap days full of crap people, but what beats discounts on food and cash?

Plus, if you’d like to be a better human, I highly recommend working a serving job for a little bit. Do it. Work a serving job and tell me after you don’t treat people with at least a little more kindness and consideration.

Back to the point

So, while we’d all like to believe appearances aren’t everything, when you’re serving tables, you definitely put a little more effort into your looks. I mean, whatever you can do to get more money - outside of sending pictures of your feet on the internet or being “adopted” by a sugar daddy, right?

Each day before work, I would spend time putting on makeup. I won’t say how long because I can already feel your judgement. Stop it.

While I was getting ready, I’d set up youtube on my phone and use it as background noise. Through time, I slowly started to pick up new techniques and through spending way too much dinero, a whole new makeup collection to play with.

Fueled by the compliments of coworkers and strangers, I started to practice on my off days, too. My ego was effectively stroked (hehe) and THAT is addicting. At first, I was skeptical of any compliment. I didn’t go to cosmetology school and I didn’t have any professional training. Why would anyone ask me for makeup advice?

I should add that I’m still just alright at what I do and there are definitely a lot of very talented makeup artists out there. The point is, that I had randomly found something I truly enjoyed doing. Putting on makeup became my form of pre-work meditation.

If you’ve never worked a customer service job, you might not understand, but you really do need to mentally prepare yourself for all the crazy and/or entitled people out there. Kind people do exist, don’t get me wrong, but there are so many more characters.

Inspiration - The reason

There are two, maybe three, factors that led me to start this blog. The first one is a conversation I had with Chic’s current bassist. I won’t go too in depth, but he really wanted to make sure I follow my “dreams” instead of doing what society, or my family, made me feel I needed to do. He told me to disregard money (excuse me, what?) and forget about my impending loss of health insurance.

He seemed really intent on getting his message across, so I took it to heart and I kept his words at the forefront of my thoughts.

Two

The second is actually from two different coworkers. I had a short conversation with one coworker who noticed I was posting frequent pictures of different looks I had created. She said, “if it is something you enjoy doing, why don’t you make tutorials?” and momentarily, it set off another spark. I was intoxicated when I first mentioned the idea to my boyfriend and he was supportive, but for a while I just pretended I didn’t really want to create videos or anything along those lines.

A different coworker played a similar role. He started up a conversation, asking me about what I had been posting. I’ll never know if he was actually interested, but it meant the world for someone to notice this change. He asked me, “if money wasn’t an option, is this something you would do professionally?” and again, this resonated with me.

So here we go. Blog number one.

I think we all know, deep down, that money isn’t everything and that we should pursue the things that make us happy. But, this is America after all, and if you’re not working 40+ hours, week after week, constantly busy until the day you die - are you ever truly successful?

I don’t want to look back on my life and wonder what I could’ve done or what I could’ve been. I don’t want to look enviously at other people’s lives and continue to do NOTHING to change mine. So here goes nothing. I’ve got nothing to lose.